你有沒有試過想幫孩子養成某個好習慣，但常常半途而廢？
不管是學習、運動還是閱讀，這種情況其實非常普遍，有時難免會令家長們有心灰意冷、無能為力，覺得「自己不會教，小朋友教不好」的負面情緒。
即使是大人，我們有時亦也難以自制。明知道運動對身體有好處，但就是懶得去做。畢竟，躺在沙發上看劇實在是太誘人了。或者，明明打算減少食不健康的食品，但每當經過那家超巿，卻總是忍不住想買一大堆零食，又有誰能抗拒那誘人的享受呢？
但，《設計你的小習慣》作者、行為科學家 BJ Fogg 早已思考過這個困擾大家的難題：「這其實不是我們的問題，而是人類設計上的缺陷。」原因就在我們太過依賴，也太高估動機對行為的影響。
而我們只需要掌握一個簡單的公式，就能改變一個人的行為：
行為 Behavior = 動機 Motivation × 能力 Ability × 提示 Prompt ｜ B=MAP
今天，我們就來介紹這個公式，並分享我們可以如何在小朋友的學習過程中運用它。
1️⃣ 動機：多想養成新習慣
動機是指驅使人們採取某行為的原因，簡單來說就是「為什麼要做」。如果一個人沒有動機，他是很難去做某件事的。動機的強弱會直接影響行為的執行，尤其是當新習慣與目標間存在距離時。
例子：想像一下，如果你有很強烈的動機想要晨跑，無論多難，你都會去克服。而如果你對晨跑並沒有那麼高的興趣，可能就會容易放棄。動機高的時候，困難也不那麼可怕；動機不足時，即使是一個簡單的行為，也容易被放棄。
對於孩子來說，動機同樣至關重要。要讓孩子養成閱讀習慣，首先要給他們一個吸引人的動機。如果孩子對閱讀沒有太大興趣，那就需要找到一個有吸引力的理由：爸爸媽媽一起的陪伴令小朋友感到溫馨快樂；故事書非常有趣、吸引，閱讀時帶來的快樂；每次閱讀時可以邊吃喜歡的茶點邊看書，或獲得小貼紙等小獎勳。
動機小貼士：
動機可以來自內部，也可以來自外部。對於孩子來說，最重要的是讓他們感受到閱讀與快樂經驗的連結，這樣會更容易提高他們的動機。
小步驟開始：不要一開始就要求孩子讀太多，從每天幾分鐘的小閱讀開始，逐步建立習慣。
2️⃣ 能力：行為有多難做到？
能力指的是完成一個行為的難易程度，也就是你是否能夠輕鬆做到這件事。如果某個行為過於困難，即使動機再強烈，人們也難以持之以恆。一個任務的難易程度，可以由不同的因素影響，包括時間（完成行動需要多久）、金錢（成本）、勞力付出（行動要花的力氣）、腦力運轉（要費的心思與專注力）、社會偏差（其他人對該行為的接納程度）、不符慣例（該行動配合或打亂目前例行活動的程度」）。
例子：假設你決定開始晨跑，這聽起來是一個健康的選擇，但如果一開始就設定每天跑5公里，這對於一個長期不運動的人來說就有些過於艱難。如果你先把目標設定為「穿運動鞋出門」開始，這個行為就會變得簡單得多，並且容易持續下去。因為，晨跑不僅需要時間，還需要一定的生理負擔。而穿上運動鞋只出門散步則幾乎沒有任何生理負擔，甚至不需要額外的心理準備。簡單的行為能讓我們在動機不足時，依然能夠輕鬆行動。
又或者，假設你的朋友讓你在超市幫忙買水，這件事對你來說原本的動機並不高，但因為它太簡單了，你只需要順路而已，所以不會猶豫。但相反，你在家刷牙時才發現牙膏快用光了，如果這刻要你換上衣服、出門跑一趟，那麼即便有買牙膏的動機，你也可能不會願意立即行動。
對孩子的應用：
這一點同樣適用於孩子的閱讀習慣。如果我們想讓行為變得更容易完成，我們應該從專注時長、生理負荷、心理負荷等方面去考慮孩子的能力。
任務難度要剛剛好：如果一開始就要求孩子閱讀非常難的書籍，可能會讓他們感到挫敗，進而放棄。相反，應該從孩子能夠輕鬆完成的小故事或圖畫書開始，讓孩子在能力範圍內完成，這樣能增加他們的自信心，並激發他們繼續閱讀的動力。
時間長度也要剛剛好：如果每次都要求大人和孩子連續一到兩個小時才結束學習，無論是大人還是孩子，往後都會感到抗拒，因為這樣的要求實在太困難了。但如果每次學習時間只有五至十分鐘，這樣短小的時間不僅能讓孩子覺得「這是我可以做到的」，也能讓學習過程變得輕鬆、愉快。這樣的學習既不會讓人感到負擔，而且每天都能做到的話，還能符合記憶的規律，幫助孩子更加牢固地掌握所學內容。
能力小貼士：
閱讀可以從最簡單的行為開始——例如每天只讀一小段/五分鐘，並逐步增加閱讀的長度或難度，減少小朋友心理和生理上的負擔，讓行為變得更容易實行。
3️⃣ 提示：暗示你採取行動的訊號
即使有足夠的動機和能力，缺乏提示也可能會讓你忘記或忽略行動。提示是指那些外界信號或提醒，激勵我們去執行某個行為。
例子：
有時候，當我先生提醒我「明天記得去超市買牙膏」時，我明明知道家裡已經沒有牙膏了，已有足夠的購買動機，而因為我已經在超市，買牙膏對我來說也是輕而易舉的事。但如果沒有任何外部提示，有時候我還是會忘記。這時，雖然我有動機並且能力上完全可行，但缺少提示還是會令行為不會出現。假如，這時候先生發信息提醒我「買牙膏」，我就不會錯過這個任務了。
對孩子的應用：
將學習用的教材或書籍放在孩子容易拿到的地方，將需要學習的字詞貼在他們每天經常經過的地方。這樣，大人和小朋友在每天吃飯、經過或準備睡覺時，就會被這些視覺提示提醒，繼而記得一起學習。
將提示放在臨睡前的地方，還有一個好處：根據研究，我們的大腦在睡眠中會加強我們對當天學習內容的記憶。因此，如果我們在孩子睡前把學習材料放在床頭或貼在牆上，孩子就能在睡前有機會無意識地加強對學習內容的記憶。這其實是一種非常有效的記憶鞏固方式。我自己也經常在考試前夕，用這個方法進行最後的背誦，發現這樣的複習效果非常好。
提示小貼士：
融入日常生活：把圖書放在容易經常看到的位置。把要學習的內容貼在當眼的位置，讓大人和小朋友都容易看到。
❇️ 如何慢慢提升行為的難度或次數？
有些家長可能會覺得「穿運動鞋」和「晨跑」還是兩回事，那麼何時才能提高行為的難度呢？
其實，像穿運動鞋這樣的行為，正是實現更大目標的拆解動作。而這些簡單的行為，正是為了逐步建立習慣。在你成功執行簡單的行為後，隨著熟練度的提升，你自然會想要將行為的難度提高。比如，當你習慣性地穿上運動鞋後，可能會自然而然地增加「走出門跑步」這一步。這時候，新的目標可以是「每天早一分鐘起床」或「跑兩公里」，而不是一開始就設定高難度的目標。
記住，開始時設定的行為越小、越簡單，其實越容易成功。
因為能促使人改變的另一個原因在於情緒。當我們高估自己，制定太難的計畫，一旦失敗大腦就會產生多巴胺，多巴胺控制的是回饋系統，讓我們記住這一次成功或失敗。下一次當我們想採取同樣行動時，想到這一次的失敗，我們可能就打退堂鼓了。
換句話說，每一次失敗，都會使下一次行動需要更高的動機。相反，每一次成功執行新習慣，多巴胺同樣會使你更願意再做一次，讓行動所需的動機降低。所以我們要做的是強化新行為和快樂的連結，如此一來，每次行為達成，大腦就會接受到開心的訊息，降低下一次執行的門檻。
然而，這過程中的關鍵是，如果你覺得提升行為難度太過困難，隨時可以退一步，回到原來的簡單動作，繼續前進。這是為了避免產生挫敗感，從而減低下一次行動的動機。
總結
要養成一個新習慣，無論是自己的還是孩子的，動機、能力、提示這三個要素都非常重要。通過精心設計這些因素，我們就能更輕鬆地實現目標，並將行為變成自然的日常。
而謹記，我們千萬不可以以為單靠動機或驚人的意志力就能建立長期的習慣，因為以上三要素當中，動機那項是最不可靠的。所以我們應該要把目標設計得「不需要動機」、「很容易做到」，再搭配適當的提示。那麼只要重複不斷地執行，這項行為就變得更有可能發生！
記住，行為越小、越簡單，其實越容易成功。即便開始時的行為看似微不足道，隨著時間的推移，每一天的小進步，最終都會讓你和孩子實現大目標。所以，不要怕行為太小，也不要放棄，每一步都在進步，總有一天會成功。
Have you ever tried to help your child develop a good habit, only to give up halfway?
Whether it’s learning, exercising, or reading, this situation is actually very common. At times, it can leave parents feeling frustrated and helpless, thinking “I don’t know how to teach, so my child isn’t learning properly.”
Even as adults, we sometimes struggle with self-control. We know that exercise is good for our health, but we just can’t bring ourselves to do it. After all, lying on the couch watching a show is so much more tempting. Or, even though we plan to cut back on unhealthy foods, we can’t resist buying a bunch of snacks every time we pass by the grocery store. Who can resist that tempting treat?
But actually, BJ Fogg, author of Tiny Habits and behavioral scientist, has already thought about this problem that plagues us all: “This isn’t our fault; it’s a flaw in human design.” The reason lies in the fact that we rely too much on, and overestimate, the power of motivation to drive behavior.
The good news is, we only need to understand one simple formula to change behavior:
Behavior = Motivation × Ability × Prompt | B = MAP
Today, we’re going to introduce this formula and share how we can apply it in the learning process of children.
1️⃣ Motivation: Think More About Building New Habits
Motivation refers to the reasons that drive people to take action; in simple terms, it’s the “why” behind the action. If someone lacks motivation, it is very hard for them to follow through on a task. The strength of their motivation directly affects whether they will follow through, especially when there is a distance between the new habit and the goal.
Example: Imagine you have a strong motivation to go for a morning run. No matter how difficult it might be, you’ll overcome the obstacles. On the other hand, if you’re not very interested in running, you may easily give up. When motivation is high, challenges don’t seem as daunting; when motivation is low, even a simple task can feel overwhelming.
For children, motivation is just as important. To help your child develop a reading habit, you first need to provide them with an attractive incentive. If the child isn’t interested in reading, you’ll need to find a compelling reason: perhaps the warmth and joy of spending time with mom and dad; the fun and engaging stories in the books; the pleasure of having snacks while reading; or small rewards like stickers after finishing a page.
Motivation Tips:
Motivation can come from within or from external sources. For children, the most important thing is to help them associate reading with enjoyable experiences. This connection will make it easier to increase their motivation.
Start Small: Don’t ask your child to read too much at first. Begin with just a few minutes of reading each day and gradually build up the habit.
2️⃣ Ability: How Difficult Is the Behavior?
Ability refers to the ease or difficulty of performing a behavior, essentially whether you can do it easily. If a behavior is too difficult, even with strong motivation, people will find it hard to persist. The difficulty of a task can be influenced by various factors, including time (how long it takes to complete the action), money (costs), physical effort (how much energy is required), mental effort (the focus and cognitive load needed), social deviation (how acceptable the behavior is to others), and disruption of routine (how much the action disrupts or aligns with current routines).
Example: Suppose you decide to start morning runs. This sounds like a healthy choice, but if you set a goal to run 5 kilometers every day from the start, it might be too tough for someone who hasn’t been exercising regularly. If you first set a goal like “put on running shoes and go outside,” the action becomes much simpler and easier to continue. Morning runs require not only time but also physical effort, while just wearing shoes and walking outside imposes little physical burden and doesn’t require much mental preparation. Simple actions allow us to take action even when motivation is low.
Alternatively, imagine your friend asks you to pick up some water at the store. Your motivation might not be high, but since it’s so easy (it’s just on your way), you won’t hesitate. However, if you realize you’re out of toothpaste while brushing your teeth and need to change clothes, go out, and get it, you might not feel like doing it, even though the motivation to buy toothpaste is there.
Application to Children:
This principle applies to your child’s reading habit as well. If we want the behavior to be easier to complete, we should consider the child’s ability in terms of focus, physical effort, and mental load.
The Task Should Be Just Right: If you ask your child to read very difficult books right from the start, they may feel frustrated and give up. Instead, begin with short stories or picture books that they can easily finish. This will build their confidence and motivate them to continue reading.
The Duration Should Be Just Right: If you require the child to study for one to two hours straight, both adults and children will likely resist because that’s too difficult. If study sessions are only five to ten minutes long—whether using flashcards, simple materials, or reading sentences from a book—this short duration makes the task feel achievable and enjoyable. This frequency is high, doesn’t feel burdensome, and aligns with memory principles, helping children solidify what they’ve learned.
Ability Tips:
Simplify the Behavior: Start reading with the simplest actions—such as reading a short paragraph or just five minutes per session—and gradually increase the reading length or difficulty. This reduces the psychological and physical burden on the child, making the behavior easier to carry out.
3️⃣ Prompt: The Signal That Encourages You to Take Action
Even with enough motivation and ability, the lack of a prompt can cause you to forget or ignore the behavior. A prompt is an external signal or reminder that encourages us to take action.
Example:
Sometimes, when my husband reminds me, “Remember to buy toothpaste tomorrow,” I know the toothpaste is running out, and my motivation is high because I’m already at the store. Buying toothpaste is easy for me. However, if I don’t have any external reminder, I might still forget. In this case, although I have the motivation and ability, the lack of a prompt is the issue. If my husband sends me a reminder, “Buy toothpaste,” I’m much less likely to miss the task.
Application to Children:
Place learning materials or books in a place where your child can easily access them, and post the words they need to learn in places they frequently pass by. This way, adults and children will be reminded to study as they eat, pass by, or prepare for bed.
Placing prompts near bedtime has an added benefit: research shows that our brains reinforce the learning content we encounter before sleep. If we place learning materials at the child’s bedside or on the wall before sleep, the child has an opportunity to unconsciously reinforce their learning. This is actually a very effective memory consolidation technique. I often use this method to review before exams, and I find it very effective.
Prompt Tips:
Incorporate prompts into daily life: Place books in locations where they’re easily seen. Put learning content in visible spots so both adults and children can easily see it.
Watch more educational social media content to boost motivation and remind yourself.
❇️ How to Increase the Difficulty or Frequency of the Behavior?
Some parents might think “wearing running shoes” and “going for a morning run” are two different things. So when should you increase the difficulty of the behavior?
In fact, actions like putting on running shoes are part of the process of achieving a bigger goal. These simple actions are designed to gradually build a habit. Once you succeed in carrying out simple actions, as you get more skilled, you’ll naturally want to increase the difficulty. For example, after you get used to putting on running shoes, you might naturally add the next step: “go outside and run.” The new goal might be to “wake up one minute earlier” or “run two kilometers,” rather than setting a difficult goal right away.
Remember, the smaller and simpler the behavior at the beginning, the easier it is to succeed. One reason for this is emotion. When we overestimate ourselves and set overly difficult goals, failure leads to the release of dopamine, which controls the feedback system and helps us remember our success or failure. The next time we want to take the same action, the memory of failure may discourage us.
In other words, each failure increases the motivation needed for the next attempt. On the other hand, each success in forming a new habit also releases dopamine, making you more willing to try again, lowering the motivation threshold. So, what we need to do is strengthen the connection between the new behavior and happiness. This way, with every successful action, the brain receives a positive signal, making the next action easier to execute.
However, the key is that if you find increasing the difficulty too hard, you can always step back and return to the original simple action. This helps avoid frustration, which could lower motivation for the next attempt.
Conclusion
To form a new habit, whether for yourself or your child, motivation, ability, and prompts are all crucial factors. By thoughtfully designing these elements, we can more easily achieve our goals and make the behavior a natural part of our daily lives.
Remember, the smaller and simpler the behavior, the more likely it is to succeed. Even if the initial actions seem insignificant, over time, each small step will help you and your child achieve big goals. So, don’t be afraid to start small, and don’t give up. Every step forward is progress, and success will come eventually.